📌 Human Beings vs Human Doings

When did we become human doings instead of human beings?

I wrote that question in my journal during a season when I was utterly exhausted, burnt out, disillusioned, and quietly questioning everything. I had been measuring my worth by my to-do list, my productivity, my ability to go without rest. I had somehow adopted society’s message that the more I could do on less sleep, the more impressive I was. That if I just achieved more, bought more, did more - I’d finally be enough. Happy. Fulfilled.

Spoiler alert: I wasn’t.

No matter what I achieved, I never got to “happy.” Every time I climbed one mountain, I immediately noticed all the ones I hadn’t yet scaled. The finish line kept moving. And I never gave myself permission to stop and breathe. To be.

When Did Being Stop Being Enough?

Somewhere along the way, we started attaching our worth to doing. To having. We began prioritising money, accolades, and hustle over compassion, connection, and joy. We praised grit, glorified the grind, and treated rest like a luxury instead of a need.

But what if we flipped that script?

What if we became human beings again?

The Be - Do - Have Model

One of the tools that helped me unravel this mess was the Be-Do-Have model from NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). It reshaped how I viewed success and self-worth.

Most of us live in the Have-Do-Be trap:

“When I have more time, I’ll do the things I love, and then I’ll finally be happy.”

But it doesn’t work that way.

The truth is:

First, decide who you want to BE.Then ask: What would that person DO?Then - and only then - will you HAVE the life you’re seeking.

Instead of focusing on what I didn’t want (“I don’t want to be tired, anxious, overwhelmed, or like my mother”), I had to start asking:

What do I want to be?What would it look like to be healthier?What would I do if I were peaceful? Energised? Whole?

Make the Outcome Clear

Feelings come and go, but true outcomes are measurable. I started clarifying tangible markers, what will I see, hear, feel when I’ve achieved my outcome?

One of my personal statements was to be a healthier, happier person so the outcomes were:

• Looking healthier (not skinnier - healthier, glowing)

• Having more energy (that others noticed too)

• Speaking differently about food and my body

• Feeling present with my family instead of scattered and frazzled

The best part? My husband noticed before I did: “You seem more energised. You’re glowing.” That’s when I knew I was becoming who I wanted to be - not just doing the right things, but being the right person.

And when that happens: Celebrate. Savour. Stop.Don't just tick it off and move on. Let it land.

Rest is a Requirement, Not a Reward

One of my biggest breakthroughs?

Realising that rest is not a luxury. It’s not something I have to earn. It’s a requirement.

Think about it… when do you fill up your car? Before the journey. Not after. But somehow, I believed I needed to exhaust myself first and only then, if there was time left over, I could rest. (There never was.)

I had to re-learn how to fill my tank.

My Personal Tank-Fillers:

• Slow walks in nature with no agenda; Fitbit, no destination

• A quiet coffee on the deck

• Drawing, writing, music, reading

• Just being, without guilt

It wasn’t easy. My brain screamed “You should be doing something useful!” But the more I practiced, the more I noticed the shift. I was more patient, more present, and - ironically - more productive. Fuel first. Always.

Try to Let Go of the Guilt

Especially as a mum, this one’s hard. The guilt creeps in fast when I take time for myself. But here’s the truth I’m still learning to believe:

I can’t be the mum I want to be if I’m running on empty.

We need to stop treating exhaustion like a badge of honour. We are not better for being more burnt out. We are not more worthy because we’re more depleted.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. And your worth was never meant to be measured on what you could do for others anyway.

Grace, Not Perfection

There will be days when you fall. When you forget. When you hustle too hard or say yes when you should’ve said no.

This doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human.

And as I keep reminding myself:

You are a human being, not a human doing.

Be consistent. But be gracious. Think about a baby learning to walk - we don’t scold them when they fall. We cheer. We encourage. We say “Try again.”

Do that for yourself too.

You Are Loved, Still.

You are loved because of who you are. Not what you do.You are still worthy when you rest.You are still enough when you say no.You are doing a great job.

So breathe.Slow down.Be.

See you on the Other Side,

Sarah